Insta-Gone 5000
InstaGone 5000! Multi-purpose disposal unit. (TS-rated)
A Top Secret rated industrial combination Wood-Chipper/De-gauser/Smelting-furnace for the easy destruction of massive amounts of documentation, paperwork, and/or whole desktop systems. The opening has metal coils that erase all magnetically stored information, which then falls into the beastly industrial and trademarked Mincing TS-Rated Blades of Doom (MTSRBOD: pronounced Mr. Bod), any remaining microscopic pieces left from this mulching process are then passed into a portable smelting furnace which either turns metal objects into bricks of ore for reselling or for non-metallic objects turns them into bricks of carbon which are then spray-painted to look like metal ore and sold as such.